journal.nullschool.net

Emma, a.k.a. neko-chan, died on Thursday, May 26th, 2005, of pancreatic cancer at the age of 9.

We adopted her when I and my roommates rented the house she lived in and the owner couldn’t take her with him. She was a great cat. Always friendly and full of personality. She had a cat door, so she freely moved indoors and out. When I would arrive home, she would run outside to greet me (I’m not kidding). She enjoyed being around people and sleeping under as many covers as possible. She hated slinkys but loved cheese. Independent yet devoted.

She was diagnosed with cancer in January 2004 and underwent surgery to remove a tumor on her pancreas. The procedure was performed at Greenlake Animal Hospital in Seattle, and they did an excellent job. The oncologist, Kerri Meleo of Animal Cancer Specialists (also in Seattle), told us that pancreatic cancer is extremely rare in cats and always fatal, at least as far as the scientific literature shows. We expected her to live three or four months at most, but she survived slightly over 15 months after the surgery. We were delighted she lived a quality life for so long before finally succumbing to the illness.

Emma’s symptoms included weight loss and vomiting. The onset of symptoms was very gradual, over a period of four weeks. At first we were not too concerned, but when the symptoms worsened suddenly (such as vomiting of bile), we took her in for tests. The veterinarian felt a lump in her abdomen and we scheduled her for surgery immediately. The tumor was located on the end of the pancreas, and the veterinarian was confident he completely removed it. But as is the case with pancreatic cancer, by the time a tumor develops the cancer has already progressed too far.

Her recovery was swift and surprising to the hospital staff. We took her home the next day and she recuperated over the next two weeks. The symptoms disappeared literally overnight and she returned to a healthy weight rapidly. Also surprising was the burst of energy she exhibited, practically kitten-like.

She continued on with a quality life in my roommate’s care until a month ago when during a routine check-up the veterinarian noticed an enlarged kidney and a few spots on her liver. Last week, the original symptoms returned and she began showing signs of pain. The decision to euthanize was gut wrenching but necessary and humane. We didn’t want her to continue living in pain for our sake.

Perhaps the most surprising thing I have learned from this experience is that our pets, just as humans, have a will to live and enjoy a happy life. I do not believe I am unduly anthropomorphizing. If you could witness and experience her as we did, then you would be as certain of her feelings and personality as of any human’s. If that’s anthropomorphization, then I am no longer certain of my own judgments, let alone the people around me.

Rest in peace, Emma. You will be missed.

…whale bacon, that is. 40g for ¥680. Now, I have no qualms with the eat-and-be-eaten nature of our world. We humans are, after all, born from this earth. However, I disagree with the methods used to “legitimize” the sale of whale meat because they violate the spirit of the International Convention for the Regulation of Whaling, put in place to protect whale species from annihilation. Furthermore, whale meat has such a high probability of being laden with contaminants (since whales sit at the top of the food chain) that I wonder why anyone would even want to eat it.

Crossing the street the other day in Shibuya, the main intersection right outside the Hachiko exit. Having almost reached the other side, with the signal soon turning and the crowd thinning out, I noticed a suited guy standing near the center, staring towards the horizon, arms rigily held at his sides, yelling “Watch out! Please be careful! This is dangerous!”

Decay is common here:

The following is a translation of the previous post.

“Last February, I gave this speech at the YAMASA Speech Contest. Of course, I was nervous but I think it was a really good experience.

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“‘No matter where you live…’

“Like a pillow, I’m lying on the bed. The winter air is as cold as ice, and the heater is on. Like a mountain, the laundry is piled up, and the chair cannot be seen. Music is playing loudly on the computer, annoying the neighbor. The volume should probably be turned down. Actually, I have to write and turn in a speech before Wednesday, and I’m worried.

“For just one day I’d like to be an author, but this is impossible. Speeches are hard, and for some reason I can’t decide on a theme. Also, although I’ve studied for 10 months, I can’t really think in Japanese. Japanese is a difficult language–this I know–but unfortunately I haven’t improved as expected. It’s my fault. I probably talked too much in English, read too many newspapers written in English, and generally been not so serious. Also, I think it’s hard to make Japanese friends. For example, I would often go to Starbucks. But who wants to talk to strangers at Starbucks? No one, it seems, because it looks too much like nanpa!* Nevertheless, although I didn’t make too many Japanese friends, and although I didn’t study very hard, I learned quite a bit.

“Although different languages, comparing English and Japanese, I was surprised how similar they are. Nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc., are all common grammatical constructs. In other words, human languages resemble each other. Just as languages are similar, I think human lifestyles are also similar. Coming to Japan and experiencing it with the eyes of a tourist, of course reality cannot be seen. Furthermore, in the United States, Japan has a strange image. It is said that Japanese people eat sushi everyday, watch anime on TV everyday, and can’t think for themselves. But is this reality? When I first traveled to Japan, I thought the Japanese lifestyle and culture was completely different from the U.S. But through the experience of living here, I came to clearly understand that the Japanese lifestyle is normal. For example, Japanese people don’t eat sushi everyday, they buy food at the grocery store. Anime is not something special to watch everyday. Work, paying rent, and worrying about coworkers, friends, and family. Isn’t this a normal lifestyle? In other words, hidden behind the curtain of culture is the true nature of humanity.

“Like a pillow, I’m lying on the bed. The winter air is as cold as ice, the heater is on, and this month’s electricity bill will probably be expensive. Like a mountain, the laundry is piled up, and the chair cannot be seen. The computer is softly playing music. And, unintentionally, I finished writing my speech!”

*nanpa = picking up girls

Analysis: never translate your own stuff. It’s painful. I was surprised how difficult it was to make the English flow smoothly. I tried to remain faithful to the original grammar; the awkwardness definitely shows itself in the text above. Is this how I sound to Japanese people? When writing the original text, all the rules of flow, paragraph linking, and logic that I unintentionally use when writing English seemed to be completely inaccessible. For what reason? I expected that flow and logic would transcend grammar, but only after translating am I able to recognize the faults in my own text. Same brain, same meaning, but completely different perceptions of correctness. Perhaps I need to learn an entire system of rules attuned to Japanese grammar. Or perhaps I simply need to reach a point of comfort with the language where I can concentrate more on style and less on grammar.